


A Dash of Chaos

by r_lee



Category: Cat in the Hat - Dr. Seuss, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 10:24:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r_lee/pseuds/r_lee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas at Hogwarts. What are you to do? Now your guests will include famed Thing One and Thing Two!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Dash of Chaos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alianne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alianne/gifts).



The staircases moved,  
As they wanted to do.  
At the feast running rampant:  
Thing One and Thing Two.

The Great Hall was done up  
With magical lights,  
But throughout the castle,  
Were so many frights.

The ghostly knights clattered  
The portraits drew sighs  
The Fat Lady, flattered,  
Widened her eyes.

What was it, she asked,  
That raced through the air?  
Some oddity basked  
Just beneath the Great Stair.

The Headmaster giggled  
And raised up his arm,  
Whatever it was  
Would cause them no harm.

Christmas Feast had begun  
With a smile and a song,  
But chaos ensued!  
Everything had gone wrong!

Beneath his dank robes  
Snape felt his ankles bitten.  
"Potter!" he supposed,  
Or perhaps Filch's kitten.

Trelawney's eyes widened,  
Her hand on her heart.  
Clearly she was frightened  
Magic played a big part.

Like blurs through the hallway  
Twin mischief things flew.  
They smiled and cackled  
Their hair, it was blue.

The caretaker groused  
As he chased them about.  
"Peeves!" he admonished,  
"Cut all that nonsense out!"

McGonagall, stern,  
Rose up from her chair.  
But Thing One and Thing Two  
Did not take a care.

They toppled the tree,  
Pixies flew through the night.  
Flitwick, wand in hand,  
Cast a spell - not quite right.

Thing One and Thing Two  
Were immune to his charm  
Or at least they outraced it  
Setting off the alarm.

The portraits were screaming,  
The students ahowl.  
The two little beings  
Caused chaos most foul!

"I've got it!" cried Lockhart  
Pushing back his sleeve.  
"What all of us must do  
Is simply - _believe!_ "

With flourish and smiles,  
He lifted his wand.  
"Oh, no," said Minerva,  
Who ducked to the ground.

"That man is a fraud,"  
She announced with a frown.  
"He's no kind of wizard.  
He's more of a clown!"

"Not a clown," he announced,  
with a grin and a nod.  
"And not quite a wizard!"  
That's when things became odd.

Thing One and Thing Two  
Stopped their racing around  
They stopped right by Lockhart  
And stood their own ground.

"You're right, I'm no wizard."  
His voice remained flat.  
Then where Lockhart had been  
Stood the Cat in the Hat.

He scooped up his helpers,  
Thing One and Thing Two,  
With a nod to the teachers,  
He knew what to do:

They picked up the pasties!  
The pixies, the lights.  
Never had Hogwarts seen  
Such an _efficient_ sight.

The candles, relit  
Fluttered over the hall.  
The portraits stopped screaming;  
The armor stood tall.

The ghosts from the Houses  
Smiled with a song.  
Soon there wasn't a sign  
That a thing had gone wrong.

And as for the Cat  
And Thing One and Thing Two,  
Well, they disappeared  
As they were wont to do.

Mrs. Norris sat back  
And licked her front paw.  
Mr. Filch shook his head  
At all that he saw.

Dumbledore made the sign  
He of course did his part:  
"Must find someone to teach  
Defense Against the Dark Arts!"


End file.
